


An A to Z of Johnlock

by ishouldntbeallowedoutinpublic



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: An A-Z, Fluff, Johnlock - Freeform, More Fluff, literally fluff pouring out your ears
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-07
Updated: 2012-12-07
Packaged: 2017-11-20 14:05:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 26
Words: 5,695
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/586174
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ishouldntbeallowedoutinpublic/pseuds/ishouldntbeallowedoutinpublic





	1. A is for Apples

John returned home from another tedious trip to Tesco. While every little may help, the little help he got when the chip and pin refused to work did not. He had stood and shouted abuse at the machine, considered leaving, decided that actually, he and Sherlock really did need milk and had queued up for fifteen minutes to pay at a normal till where the person scanning his shopping did not have some kind of bizarre grudge held against him.

He had just finished filling the cupboards when he heard a thunk, thunk, thunk behind him, he turned around to watch Sherlock dropping apples one by one into the bin.

“Sherlock, what are you doing?”

“An apple a day keeps the doctor away John.”

“Right, and you don’t want to be healthy because?”

“You are a doctor John.”

“Yes, I am.”

“You must not go away.”

Needless to say, John no longer bought apples again lest they experienced the same fate those deliciously crunchy looking braeburn apples had experienced.


	2. B is for Brother

Even John had to admit, no matter how much he loved Sherlock, the Holmes brothers were weird. At the beginning of their new relationship Mycroft had invited John and Sherlock out for dinner. It had been… an awkward affair to say the least. John had sat uncomfortably in a posh (and very expensive) restaurant while Sherlock shot Mycroft daggers as he asked (interrogated) John about, well, everything. His childhood, his favourite animal, every single dull job he’d had, every house he’d lived in, where he’d gone to school. Everything.

Of course, the worst part had come when it came to paying the bill. Mycroft had called the waiter over and they had the slip of paper and oh Jesus that was a lot of money and then Mycroft had said three fatal words.

“Let’s split the bill.”

John had groaned inwardly, he’d spent the whole meal trying to pick the cheapest things on the menu so that if he just paid for himself he’d be able to afford it, but no, all of his hard work had just been rendered redundant. He might have well just ordered the lobster like Mycroft had recommended as he wasn’t going to be able to pay quite that amount of money either way.

Thank god for Sherlock. That was all he could say. John wasn’t normally one to encourage the ridiculous amount of sibling rivalry that went on between the two men but, in this one instance, he would allow it.

“Actually Mycroft, since you inconvenienced John and I so greatly I think you should simply pay for the meal. After all, you did suggest it as your treat.” Sherlock said with a large fake smile, his words completely sugar coated. “I know for a fact that John’s leg has been playing up recently and he was looking forward to simply sitting on the couch and eating takeaway while I took care of him. Your invite has ruined his evening and I feel you should make it up to him.”

The look on Mycroft’s face was priceless, John was almost tempted to pull out his phone and take a photo (well, if he knew how to work the bloody camera).

“Yes well if you insist then brother.” Mycroft stammered.

“Yes I do insist.” Sherlock answered haughtily, taking John’s hand and sweeping out of the restaurant.


	3. C is for Candy Floss

It had been a very long case. It had wound on for weeks and weeks with several brutal murders at the same fairground in London. The case would’ve been a lot easier had the fairground not wanted to carry on with business as usual and therefore keep the place open resulting in easier targets for the killer. It had finally concluded with the usual made chase after the killer, the kind that sent adrenalin haywire and left Sherlock buzzing for weeks.

Well, until he got bored.

But anyway, they’d managed to trace the criminal and tail him through the funfair for hours, finally seizing the chance to apprehend him as he got off the roller coaster. There had been a slight standoff between Sherlock and the killer before John was able to tackle him to the ground as Lestrade ran over with a pair of handcuffs.

Case solved and criminal arrested Sherlock and John began to make their way out of the fun fair, but as they left, a stall caught John’s eye.  Candy floss. John had a huge weakness for the stuff. He’d had it since childhood. Each birthday from the ages of about five to eleven John would visit Brighton with his family and they’d go to Brighton Pier and enjoy themselves. Every single trip would end in John buying a large bag of candy floss for himself which he’d then eat on the train on the way home.

“Hey Sherlock, they have candy floss.”

“Candy what? That’s a stupid idea, what’s the point of flossing your teeth with sugary food? You’d simply do your teeth more damage than good-“

“No Sherlock, that’s not what candy floss is.”

“What is it then?”

“That pink stuff.”

“It looks dangerous.”

“I can assure it’s not.” John laughed, striding over to the stall before Sherlock could protest, buying one large back of fluffy pink sugar and returning a few seconds later, holding a large lump of stickiness in his hand. “Open up.” He instructed.

“John, I can feed myself.”

“Open up.”

“Fine.” Sherlock sighed and grudgingly opened his mouth allowing John to try and feed him the candy floss.

“It’s stuck to my fingers, just bite that bit off.” John laughed, pulling his hand away as Sherlock bit down and let the sugar dissolve in his mouth.

“That’s… not bad.”

“I thought you’d say that, you have a sweet tooth.” John grinned, eating the remainder of the candy floss in the bag.

The next Christmas Sherlock put a candy floss maker on his Christmas list.


	4. D is for Driving Lessons

There came a point when taking taxis everywhere in London became a little too expensive for Sherlock and John and they had to think up alternatives. Walking was out of the question because they already did that, Sherlock refused to take the tube and stated that cycling was rubbish and looked naff so John had to come to the only other idea he had. Driving. As in buying a car. As in buying a car and then trusting Sherlock to drive it. It was a terrible idea but the only one he had.

Both men endured several weeks of lessons. Sherlock tended to come home in a foul mood after his whereas John, it appeared, was excelling quite nicely. This of course, only irritated Sherlock more and he became more and more determined to do better than John, which was never going to end well when Sherlock needed a new instructor each week.

When the test finally came around Sherlock was wrapped up in a very exciting triple homicide and therefore, to put it lightly, he was not focusing completely on subjects unrelated to the case. When Sherlock managed to spot the killer through a crowd of people in Trafalgar Square the examiner was more than a little bit surprised to find himself hurtling at thirty three miles an hour (a number permanently etched on his brain) into a crowd of flying pigeons and screaming people.

Sherlock took another four years to pass his driving test as no sensible instructor would come near him for years. John on the other hand passed with flying colours.


	5. E is for Elastic Band

On cases Sherlock has this very not good habit of not speaking for days. John was warned about this before they became flatmates, but the occurrence continued to worry him for a while. And then it just became entertaining.

There was one case in particular, where Sherlock hadn’t spoken in three days and had lay perfectly silent and not moving on the couch. During this period of time John had started his new game and now Sherlock had several newspapers, a mug, the teapot, three telly remotes and a shoe balanced on his chest and stomach. John had even gone so far as to leave a tiny blob of shaving foam on the end of his nose just to find out if Sherlock would notice and at this point, he hadn’t. However, John was running out of things to stack on Sherlock, so he found a new game.

This game involved an elastic band and several small pieces of paper that could be catapulted through the air and land in an unsuspecting victim’s hair, in other words, Sherlock. John had spent hours of fun playing this game and it had gotten to the point where it looked like Sherlock had really bad dandruff or he’d been outside in the snow. John said giggling to himself like a school boy for hours before taking many millions of photos of the consulting detective.

Sherlock finally became aware of what was going on after John sent an elastic band flying at the back of Sherlock’s neck by accident.


	6. F is for Fainting

Sherlock hates admitting it (most likely because it suggests that he is human) but he faints easily. More often than not he’ll faint after a case because he hasn’t slept or eaten in several days and his body is sick of all the stress it’s being put under. Normally however Sherlock manages to get home before he faints, but on this occasion he doesn’t.

John’s the first to see him going, he knows the signs, it’s happened so many times now that he has to. They’re standing in Lestrade’s office and he’s ranting on at Sherlock about something Sherlock’s done wrong (John isn’t really listening, he’s tired)  and that’s when John notices it, Sherlock’s rubbing at his head more frequently. John tries to interrupt to warn Lestrade but Lestrade’s so far into his rant now that he’s not listening and there’s no point trying to talk to Sherlock because he never listens to John despite the fact that John is his doctor. And so, John can do nothing but watch as Sherlock’s eyes roll up into his head and he falls to the ground with a rather loud thunk. At this noise Greg breaks out of his rant to turn around in surprise and watch John try and wake him up (which never works because once Sherlock is out, he is completely out).

In the end John apologises and carries Sherlock out of Lestrade’s office, past Anderson and Donovan and into a taxi before dumping Sherlock in his bed when they return home.

Anderson and Donovan have started calling Sherlock sleeping beauty, much to his displeasure.


	7. G is for God Daughter

After three years of being married Lestrade and Mycroft decide to adopt a baby which they then name Amelie. They settle into home life and Greg often turns up to work with dark bags under his eyes from when the baby has kept both him and Mycroft awake all night. On about the third week of having her Greg and Mycroft go to visit her uncles who have also been appointed godparents to the girl.

John immediately begins cooing  over the baby as she enters the flat (it’s in his job description) and Sherlock sulks because for once the attention isn’t completely on him. As dinner arrives Amelie has decided she’s going to be fussy over her baby formula and is wailing like nobody’s business. Greg attempts to stop her crying before giving up and passing her to Mycroft who also attempts to calm the infant but can’t seem to manage it, John takes the baby from Mycroft and begins bouncing her gently  but has no impact at all on his goddaughter. In a moment of pure desperation they hand the child to Sherlock and the baby immediately shuts up and gurgles happily in Sherlock’s arms.

From that point on Sherlock and his goddaughter become equally annoying as Sherlock teaches Amelie all of his tricks when it comes to deducing people.


	8. H is for Hen Night

Occasionally John can convince Sherlock to visit their local pub with him and have a drink. However after one disastrous visit John and Sherlock never return to the same pub.

They’ve been sat for a good half an hour by the point the very drunk hen do enter the pub, Sherlock rolls his eyes as things get a little more rowdy but not by too much and he and John are more than happy to hang around a little longer to finish their beers.

However, the trouble begins when (possibly) the maid of honour catches sight of John as he buys two more drinks for Sherlock and himself. She wanders over to the bar and starts flirting with him and because John is John, he’s perfectly nice and talks back, not flirting, just talking. Sherlock’s not impressed but he’s not annoyed because she hasn’t stolen a substantial amount of his ‘Sherlock and John time’ yet. When the woman has the audacity to lean in and kiss a very shocked John, Sherlock gets annoyed. That is his John and ever since childhood Sherlock’s been bad at sharing.

Sherlock over reacts completely and storms over, shoving the woman off John and kissing him possessively in order to give the woman the very obvious message that John is his and she should back off.

Unfortunately, the kiss gets well, a little too heated as John will later describe it and Sherlock and John are kicked out for public indecency.


	9. I is for Inventor

As a child Sherlock went through a stage when he wanted to be an inventor. This stage came around after the pirate stage and just before the consulting detective stage. One day Sherlock’s ‘inventing’ a solution to make him turn invisible (no he’s not, he’s just trying to see what the biggest explosion he can cause is) when Mycroft distracts him for a second. Well, more demands that Sherlock leave the bedroom because the maids want to tidy up his bedroom for the first time in three weeks, this slight distraction (irritation) causes Sherlock to lose track of how many drops of god knows what into his test tube and as he looks back to check on it, it blows up in his face, taking his eyebrows off.

Sherlock stopped wanting to become an inventor quite quickly after that.

Mycroft still pulls out the pictures at family gatherings much to Sherlock’s disgust.


	10. J is for Jail

On the day of Greg and Mycroft’s wedding they decide that under no circumstances can they have Sherlock mess everything around or appear from nowhere to annoy people until the actual ceremony and therefore they come to the conclusion that they should lock Sherlock (and because he will go mad without him, John too) in the cells.

At seven thirty on the morning of his wedding Mycroft turns up at 221B and orders Sherlock get into the car. Sherlock refuses, but John is more than happy to sit in the back seat and wait. Mycroft then threatens Sherlock. Sherlock still refuses to get in the car. Mycroft then turns around and decides to use brute force to get Sherlock into the car, which may have actually worked had Sherlock not been so fit in comparison to Mycroft. Stupidly though Sherlock collapses into a fit of laughter at his brother’s uselessness on the stairs making it very easy for Mycroft to drag Sherlock into the car.

Sherlock is completely unimpressed by being put in jail for the day and refuses to ever forgive his brother adding yet another incident to the list of ‘Things Sherlock Can Blackmail Mycroft with.’


	11. K is for Karaoke

One of Sherlock’s biggest secrets is that he’s actually quite a good singer. John has heard him sing all of three times. The first one day at home while Sherlock was composing and he kept singing snatches of the tune that was trying to escape his head, the second when he’d thought he was completely alone one day and had danced around the kitchen a bit singing a song he’d heard on the radio and the third time at one of the yard’s Christmas parties.

Sherlock had accidentally gotten a little tipsy on champagne that evening and so, filled with liquid courage he’d managed to sign himself up on the karaoke sheet, much to John’s amusement.

He sort of got his own back when he suddenly produced an impressive rendition of twenty one guns by Green Day (which had shocked John completely because he wasn’t sure Sherlock knew any modern singers, let alone Green Day) much to the approval of pretty much everyone at the party.

John frequently plays the dodgy recording he managed to get, to just about everyone to embarrass Sherlock.


	12. L is for Lantern

“60… 59… 58…”

John, Sherlock, Lestrade, Mycroft and Mrs Hudson are gathered in the empty street outside 221B. It’s minute until New Year’s Day and they’re all stood holding giant paper Chinese lanterns, waiting until they can finally let them fly up into the air.

“45… 44… 43…”

Sherlock is stood whispering the wrong numbers in John’s ear and John laughs and attempts to elbow Sherlock in the side without accidentally setting his coat on fire with the lantern they’re both holding, causing him to laugh even more. Mycroft shoots his brother a look and mouths ‘Stop flirting’ at him, but Sherlock is too busy giggling with John to notice.

“31… 29… 28…”

Sherlock stops messing around is now counting sensibly, while Mycroft glares on at him, Greg nudges Mycroft in the side and whispers something in his ear causing Mycroft to grin and nod.

“15… 14… 13…”

It’s not long now, and they can hear the rest of London counting along with them. The majority of people are staring out of windows in the vague direction of the London Eye, waiting for the fireworks to fill the sky. John stood out by the Thames with Sherlock last year, and they both agreed they weren’t doing it ever again; there had been too many people and John’s shoulder had gone stiff after spending so much time in the freezing cold.

“5… 4… 3… 2… 1”

The counting stops and there is a second of silence before somewhere in the distance a firework flies up and lights up over London. The group of people stood outside 221B let go of their lanterns and they fly up glowing in the air. Sherlock and John are first to let theirs go before Sherlock leans down to pull John into their first kiss of the New Year. Unfortunately Mycroft and Lestrade have been plotting, and their moment is ruined by the click of a camera phone.

The photo later finds its way onto their living room wall.


	13. M is for 'M'

In the summer Mycroft holds a summer ball. This is held every summer in the Holmes family manor, not family home. Manor.  Every year John and Sherlock manage to be busy and therefore miss it. This year unfortunately, they have no choice but to attend as Mycroft asked them in advance what dates they could make.

Sherlock and John are stood in the ballroom of the Holmes manor watching the crowd of people in front of them come to life as people mingle and help themselves to the hors d'oeuvres from the plates of the multiple serving staff gliding around their specific sections of the room.

“Why did we come John?” Sherlock grumbles and glares at another passing couple.

“Because Sherlock, your brother is incredibly stubborn, like another Holmes brother I know and he refuses to take no for an answer, and as we’ve been giving him no for an answer for years now, he decided to force us to come.” John answers flatly. “Oh and here he comes now.”

Mycroft spots Sherlock and John and crosses the room to greet them with a brief handshake each and a mutter of “Brother. Doctor Watson.” Before going on to rub his success of him persuading them to come in their faces.  “So nice of you to join us this year, it’s brilliant that we’ve finally been able to find a date when you’ve been able to come. Please, let me introduce you to a few people.”

Sherlock pulls a face at John whilst John just nods, smiles (which is his go to move when speaking with Mycroft) and says “That sounds lovely.”

Mycroft gives a fake smile and leads them over to a group of people. “Sherlock, Doctor Watson, these are some of my colleges.”

“Which you met due to your minor position in the British government?” Sherlock asks, feigning interest.

“Yes, this is Wilson, James and M, he works with M.I 6.”

John holds back a laugh. Sherlock does his best to cover up the fact that John is struggling to fight back a laugh. “Oh, I’m sorry, it appears my partner is about to sneeze, he has an acute issue with hay fever. Come on John, I’ll show you to the bathroom.” Sherlock smiles ushering John out of the room. “Why the fit of giggles?”

“You know, _M_.” John says, expecting some kind of visible response from Sherlock.

“Yes John, some people do have letters for titles in the British government, they have to protect their identity.”

“No Sherlock, have you not seen the James Bond films?”

“What films?”

John is surprised that Sherlock doesn’t know and they abandon the party on the one condition that Sherlock will watch Casino Royale with John when they return home.


	14. N is for Never Ever Again

John decides one day that for their next date he should take Sherlock bowling with him.

Sherlock grumbles about the taxi ride to the bowling alley.

He complains about having to swap his shoes for the standard issue bowling alley lace ups.

He grumbles constantly about having to put his perfect violinist’s fingers inside the bowling balls.

And then he wipes the floor with John when they actually bowl.

John swears that never ever again will he take Sherlock bowling.


	15. O is for Open Water

Sherlock and John decide to go away for a week for their five year anniversary. The Holmes family owns a nice little (little? Hah. More like bloody huge in John’s eyes) house in the south of France. They spend a lot of time having copious amounts of sex, but on the fourth day into the week Sherlock hires a little boat and rows them out into the middle of the lake. They float there for hours speaking about things with very little importance and laughing about some of the cases they’ve been on and the slightly stupid things they’ve done.

The sun sets after  they’ve spent a whole day in the hot sun (neither are burnt, John insisted that they both cover themselves in vast amount of sun cream before leaving the house) and they stars are just beginning to appear.

“We should head back.” John says quietly after some time.

“Mmmm, probably.” Sherlock murmurs, beginning to stand to move and row them back to shore, as he stands he rocks the boat gently.

“Be careful, if you tip us overboard I’ll kill you.” John laughs also moving back to his seat, the boat rocks more.

“Don’t be a hypocrite.” Sherlock chuckles, purposely rocking the boat more this time.

“Sherlock… Stop it.” John gasps through his laughter, slightly terrified they’re going to be thrown overboard.

Seconds later, Sherlock rocks the boat a little too hard by accident, the two men suddenly finding themselves treading water in the centre of the lake.


	16. P is for Paper Boy

Sunday is paper day. More recently in London, a paper boy has been paid by a new newspaper company to post their Sunday issue of the paper through the door for free. This has annoyed Sherlock for weeks as the paper boy always makes an unnecessary amount of noise as he pushes his unwanted news through the letter box.

John has banned Sherlock from saying anything to the boy to scare him away from their house and Sherlock (so far) has grudgingly agreed.

However, the way Sherlock sees it is that John hasn’t said that he can’t booby trap the front door so that when the letter box is opened the trigger of John’s gun is pulled and therefore fires a blank, terrifying the poor spotted teen at the door and ceasing their disturbance in the mornings.

The plan goes exactly how it should. The gun fires, the boy refuses to return. Obviously John is furious but the plan worked, and John will get over it. Sherlock simply has to make him several cups of tea and go out and buy the paper himself.


	17. Q is for Quarantine

Sherlock is sick. Sherlock is not happy. Sherlock is not happy because John has quarantined him. Why has Sherlock been quarantined? Because he accidentally fell in the Thames and has somehow contracted some hideous and highly contagious illness.

John says it serves Sherlock right. He spends too much time chasing criminals into the water which John has to then go and catch. It’s about time karma came round and hit Sherlock in the face.


	18. R is for Reading

In the Watson-Holmes household it has been agreed that an hour before bed each day has to be put aside for reading so that John can relax before going to sleep. Sherlock resents this rule as it means that he can’t finish his experiments before going to bed because he has to be quiet. He spends many hours plotting and decides to ruin each and every hour John puts aside. The majority of the time Sherlock convinces John that having sex works better but John soon becomes aware of this plan. One day Sherlock (stupidly) decides to conform to this rule rather than rebel against it.

He is rather irritated to find that he enjoys the hours reading time put aside each night.


	19. S is for Safe

Since returning from Afghanistan John often feels safe at night. He feels even safer now that Sherlock shares his bed. Sleeping with someone else generally keeps the nightmares away.

There is a night however, when Sherlock doesn’t come home. It’s probably for a case and it’s probably nothing but John can’t shake the feeling of loneliness that filled the flat after Sherlock’s fall and he lies awake for hours tossing and turning trying to think of other things. Nicer things. But the images of Sherlock’s body on the pavement find their way into his minding, sneaking through gaps in the walls he built around the images his subconscious can replicate. At roughly two in the morning he decides to text Sherlock.

[Message Sent: 02:09]                   
You’re probably on a case, but I can’t sleep. No idea where you are or what you’re doing. Let me know you’re safe please.-JW

He waits, hoping Sherlock hasn’t lost his phone or that he’s acting as a homeless person in order to gather more allies and information.  Half an hour later he gets his reply.

[Message Received: 02:40]  
Safe.-SH  
Coming home.-SH  
Try not to wait up.-SH


	20. T is for Tube

It’s pouring with rain and Sherlock and John can’t get a cab anywhere and much to their annoyance they are on the opposite side of London.

“Sherlock, if we just take the tube everything will be so much easier. I’m wet and cold and so are you. Let’s just get the underground and get home quickly.”

“It’s tedious John and I don’t want too.”

“Tough Sherlock. We don’t have another choice. I don’t really fancy freezing to death out here trying and failing to hail a cab.”

“But John there are ignorant people everywhere. It slows me down.”

“Apparently Sherlock, everything slows you down so excuse me when I don’t jump to believe you.”

“I don’t want to.”

“We have no other choice.”

“Fine.”

Sherlock folds his arms and stomps down the steps to the tube station, scowling furiously at the back of John’s head.

“I can feel you glaring at me Sherlock.” John calls behind him as he scans his oyster card before making his way down to the tube platform. “Look, if it will make the experience any more fun for you I will allow you to people watch and show off in front of me.”

Sherlock’s face lights up. “Well, that woman over there is in love with the man standing just to the right of her, unfortunately he’s in love with her best friend, the woman standing on the opposite side, only she’s in love with the other woman, and that man over there is about to propose to his girlfriend, though he suspects she’s seeing someone else and that man is…”

John zones out after a while. Sherlock continues to deduce all the way home. In the end he decides the tube isn’t so bad.


	21. U is for Umbrella

It’s not a little known fact that the Holmes brothers do not get on. John has sat through enough of their tiffs to know that when Mycroft comes over he might as well stand clear and let them get on with whatever argument they decide to have that day as it is simply not worth is to even attempt to get them to see the other’s point of view.

Sherlock has found many, many different ways to annoy Mycroft over the years, each slightly pettier than the last. It’s incredibly childish slightly irritating for Mycroft, which, in essence is what makes it even more irritating as he cannot get completely annoyed with Sherlock for doing it.

The latest of Sherlock’s revenge ideas? Stealing Mycroft’s umbrellas.

All of them (yes he has a collection).

In one go.

Including the emergency umbrella which Mycroft can produce from seemingly nowhere at the drop of a hat.


	22. V is for Volcano

John is absolutely sick to death of Sherlock blowing things up in the kitchen that produce toxic gases and therefore makes a list of all the experiments Sherlock is permitted to do in the kitchen without asking him.

Sherlock agrees to the majority of the list but questions a bicarbonate of soda volcano. He has no idea what John means by it so of course, John has to show Sherlock.

Sherlock turns his nose up at the volcano making process, asking if it is really necessary for the whole experiment and couldn’t he just pour the two parts of the experiment in a test tube? John replies that he can’t as you have to do the whole thing properly else Sherlock will not experience the joy of the whole thing.

When it finally comes to pouring the bicarbonate of soda into the vinegar Sherlock turns grumbles about how the build-up was not really worth it for the tiny about of ‘lava’ produced.  John understands that there is no point fighting a losing battle and Sherlock will never understand the true joys of the childish experiment and leaves him to it.

The next day John returns home to Sherlock seeing how much bicarbonate of soda he needs in order to fill the entire bath tub with ‘lava’.


	23. W is for Wheel Chair

On their latest case John and Sherlock find themselves cornered on the edge of a disused quarry. The fall behind them isn’t huge but they would do some damage to themselves if they were to jump and try and escape by running through it.

Sherlock runs at one of the men, managing (barely) to take him out through brute force. John isn’t so lucky. When he tries Sherlock’s tactic, he runs at the other man but finds that the goon was ready for it and shoves John backwards into the quarry.

John finds himself falling before landing funnily and crying out because something is wrong with his legs and he’s in excruciating pain.

Seconds later, a paramedic team turn up, declare John has broken both legs and whisk him off to hospital. He spends one and a half long weeks in a boring white hospital room while Sherlock occasionally remembers to leave his side and go and get some decent sleep before being allowed out of hospital.

In a wheel chair that Sherlock has to push him around in. It doesn’t end well and John ends up pushing himself. When his legs finally repair themselves John decides that he never wants to have Sherlock pushing him around ever again.


	24. X is for Xylophone

Sherlock gets bored one day (what a surprise) and decides to learn a new instrument. Something that will annoy Mycroft more than the violin already does.

A xylophone.

Every time Mycroft comes over he is greeted by the sound of Sherlock striking ringing metal bars violently with a rubber beater, trying to make the most discordant sounding music possible.


	25. Y is for You, Your, You're and Yours

You: Sherlock is often called ‘You idiot’ and told ‘You had better clean that up soon Sherlock’ from John a lot. However, he can safely say that his favourite time to hear the word you is just after the word love.

Your: Sherlock hears this most often when he hasn’t cleaned up his experiments. For example, ‘Get your severed hands off my kitchen table this instant!’

You’re: Most often hear in the context of ‘You’re an idiot’ but occasionally John decides to fuel Sherlock’s ego with the occasional ‘You’re brilliant’. Sherlock definitely prefers the second sentence.

Yours: Seen at the bottom of the note John left Sherlock on their anniversary.

‘To Sherlock,   
Wanted to make you breakfast, but guess what! No milk.  
Forever Yours  
John’


	26. Z is for Zimmer Frame

“What are we going to do when we retire?” John asks one night as the two men are lying quietly in bed.

“I always liked the idea of buying a little cottage in the middle of nowhere and keeping bees.” Sherlock says thoughtfully, “Maybe you could write murder mysteries or something.”

“Maybe, but I’d have to ask you to come up with the plots for me.”

“I’m sure you could do it on your own John, you’ve seen enough cases to see how a murder mystery would work.”

“Maybe…”

“Or you just write a book and in the final chapter choose the least guilty character and make them the killer.”

“I’m not sure that’s how those books work Sherlock.”

“Well I can never work them out.”

“Can I have that on record?”

“No you can’t.” Sherlock says firmly, before changing the subject quickly, “I like the idea of us growing old together though.”

“As do I Sherlock. You never know maybe we’ll never retire and just chase criminals around using zimmer frames.”


End file.
